Lost In Translation? Tampopo gets a Facelift

Oh the horror! I knew Armageddon was coming, but I just didn't think it would come in a form of direct to video.

Someone in Hollywood apparently thought that "Lost In Translation" starring Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson was a great movie and probably want to strike gold again as fast as they can. You know how copycats work in mysterious ways in Hollywood.

I'm pretty sure someone pitched this movie as "Lost In Translation" meets "Shane" in Japan. Then they figure it out that maybe it's better to do a story about ramen instead of having a gunslinger coming to town trying to fit in. Oh looky here, a script had been written before and the American audiences are not familiar with this movie either (Tampopo).

Then to top it all off, the producers and casting director decided the funny engaging actress that is perfect for the role is.... Brittany Murphy. Yes, Scarlett Johanson is not available. "Legally Blonde" was too expensive, so let's cut the cost and get the girl from "Uptown Girls"! Damn, Dakota Fanning is not available either. Yes, let's see if her co-star who just did the voice for "Happy Feet" will do it for half the price quote.

Here is the synopsis from one of their distributor and financier, Media8Entertainment:

"Abruptly abandoned by her boyfriend, a young American woman (Murphy) finds herself suddenly alone and adrift in Tokyo. Lost in the shuffle of a foreign culture, and seeking to console herself, Abby winds up hanging out in her neighborhood ramen shop. After observing the magical effects of the shop's ramen on the customers, Abby convinces herself that her true path in life is to become a ramen chef. Abby persuades the shop's tyrannical, temperamental Japanese master chef to teach her the art of making ramen. And although their relationship is contentious and rocky, they both discover the most important ingredient of all - that each ramen bowl must contain a universe of feeling and truly be a gift from the heart."

I guess the big question out there is when this mess movie will be available in a theater near you? The answer for us American blokes is probably "not any time soon".

It already debut in Germany and Russia back in late last year. It will debut in Japan on Jan. 17 and Netherlands on Jan. 29. It is looking like a direct to Video for the US market unless they drastically decided to take chances and book some theaters to let this puppy out for us to view. I had been eyeing the Nuart and the Laemmle on possible showtimes for this movie.

No dice on either front.

For now, let's enjoy this trailer and imagine what could have been this year's "No Reservation":